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Married for 40+ years, the Freistadts share their secrets for those taking the next step
The Freistadts, Lynn and Wanda, host Catholic Engaged Encounter in Muenster in the Diocese of Saskatoon.
Photo courtesy the Freistadts
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OSV News photo/courtesy Franciscan University of Steubenville
Lynn and Wanda Freistadt have devoted much time during their blessed marital union of nearly 41 years preparing engaged couples for a marriage centred on Christ.
The Freistadts first experienced the Catholic Engaged Encounter (CEE), a ministry celebrating its 50th anniversary in 2025 as an international institution, as fiancees in 1983.
After devoting the successive years following their union in 1984 to raising four daughters, attending to their professions and actively contributing to St. Augustine Parish in Saskatoon, the Freistadts received an invitation to be CEE facilitators in 2002.
They were natural candidates for this vocation as they had already guided an eight-week marriage prep program at their parish. They decided to accept this call to service, and for two years worked with two other couples to offer retreat weekends.
A couple of years later, driven mainly by struggling to secure space at a reasonable price to conduct retreat weekends, CEE’s presence in Saskatoon shut down. The Freistadts thought they were done participating in this endeavour.
Two years later, however, in 2006, the couple received a call from Jordan and Donna Lee Bergermann of Muenster, Sask. The Bergermanns wanted Lynn and Wanda to contribute to CEE in this village, located less than 10 kilometres east of Humboldt.
Wanda said the opportunity was appealing, particularly considering Lynn’s familial roots in the area. His cousin, Barry, and his wife, Lenore, were already serving CEE in the community.
“We thought, ‘sure, we’ll come and do a weekend with you at St. Peter’s Abbey.’ We haven’t left.”
Lynn, who was born in Humboldt, said he “was very familiar with the Benedictine community” that called St. Peter’s Abbey home having spent childhood weekends at the monastery.
The couple has expressed deep appreciation for the Fridays, Saturdays and Sundays they spend out there now.
“It is just awesome to be out there,” said Wanda. “Everyone is so welcoming. They provide the meals and rooms for us. It's just a blessing to be out there.”
CEE weekends at St. Peter’s are a treasure for the participating couples for an even more profound reason.
“We think that one of the gifts of the retreat weekend is that you probably never have that opportunity like that again in your life: a weekend where you are focused strictly on each other and your relationship,” said Lynn.
“Sometimes we’ve had couples come in who have said, ‘well we’ve been dating for five years… we know everything.’ We kind of chuckle at the back of our minds. (Wanda and I) have been married for 40 years and there are still opportunities to learn things about our marriage.”
Throughout each intensive weekend, the Freistadts present their marriage, based on the themes of the families they grew up in, sacramental marriage, communication, intimacy and values.
“There are then some questions that the couples separate to answer,” explained Wanda. “Each couple then gets together in a room and exchange booklets so they can read what their partner has written. We tell them to read once for their head and once for their heart and then they discuss. How does the presentation or topic impact them? What does it mean for their marriage? How do they interpret how things are for their lives?”
There are up to 18 talks that build upon each other, starting from Friday night and leading up to Sunday afternoon, all the time spiritually supported throughout the retreat weekend by a priest.
While the structure and the teaching content are well established, each weekend radiates with uniqueness as they hear personalized stories, experiences and even insights from each couple.
Commonly, some participants — mostly the man — exude reticence initially and offer brief answers to the written questions. Wanda said it is affirming to see that by Saturday morning they are “settled into their relationship and are, for the most part, being honest and vulnerable with each other."
Lynn said each weekend retreat is a chance for him and his wife to get away to “reinvigorate our relationship a little bit.”
He expressed his conviction that the Holy Spirit is at work during retreat weekends.
“The weekends just flow — I believe it is the Holy Spirit at work,” said Lynn. “One time, we went to the retreat house in Lumsden, and we had no clue who this couple was that we were presenting with, and man, was it a great weekend.”
The Freistadts, both retired, are set for their 2025 in-house retreat at St. Peter’s Abbey from March 28-30. In some years, the weekend would attract six betrothed duos, but the last couple of years have seen participation rise to 10-12 duos.
Lynn and Wanda also attend various CEE functions, but most of their time is devoted to enjoying life as retireees. Four of their five grandchildren live in Saskatoon, and the other is not too far away in Regina.
The strength of their marriage was feted with a 40th-anniversary celebration in the company of friends and family last year.
(Amundson is an associate editor and writer for The Catholic Register.)
A version of this story appeared in the March 23, 2025, issue of The Catholic Registerwith the headline "Couple cherish Engaged Encounter call".
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